I was urgent yesterday about getting my story out. It felt so good to get it all out of my body and launched into a vast network that anyone could read. After I was finished posting everything, I felt a tremendous amount of sadness and despair. I have no idea why I felt this way. I just wanted to cry. I don't know if it was because of my symptoms or if it was because I had made myself vulnerable.
I felt better this morning when I had been replied to. People actually cared about what I had to say. I was amazed that strangers would take the time to welcome me into a group of people that share similar hardships. WebMD has a solid group of posters in some of their message boards. All the venting and angst that I felt yesterday was replaced by satisfaction.
Although I am satisfied with the responses and postings of other people, I feel a little addicted. I want to read everyone's posts and have everyone read mine. After 1 day of posting, I feel like I have a group of people I can be accepted into.
I think with my limitations and lack of prognosis, essentially having no end in sight, I need to have something to look forward to. I need to have some sort of pro-activity in order to feel like I am accomplishing something and fighting what is limiting my mind and body.
I have to get my Wii workout in at some point today. That is encouraging me and making me feel like I am fighting this thing. I have the kids by myself today, as Dan is at the Air Base. Bella, my 5 year, old is playing Wii Fit right now and challenging my times and records. It's great to see her trying to be fit and active. Joey, age 7, vegged in his bed playing his DS and is now vegging even more on the computer.
Nap time will come soon, I think....
No comments:
Post a Comment